Saturday, November 13, 2010

Traditional Chinese Medicine progress

9.14.10

I had my first visit with Andrew Maloney today.  He said I had very low chi (life energy) and it would take 1-3 months before I could work again.  I started on his herbs, but they made me bloated so I had to start with ½ scoop per meal at first and slowly worked up to 2 scoops per meal (1 Tsp).  After my body adjusted, I got definite energy boosts after taking the doses.  I had coldness and some spleen dampness at a deep interior level. 

I started doing moxabustion on my shin and lower belly chi building points twice a day for 5 minutes each.  It noticeably brought me back from low energy every time I did this.  When I was bloated or nauseous, I would do moxa on the points about 2 inches out from my belly button, which works every time. (Moxa is a technique where mugwort is put on the skin, on the end of acupuncture needles or in a cigar-like form held above the skin and used to build Qi)

I went to Chip Chase the next week and he was the first one to say “you have an autoimmune disorder”.  He also said from Chinese medicine’s perspective, I had a weak spleen and kidneys and the obvious adrenal dysfunction I’ve had since Luke’s death 5 years ago.  He told me to continue with Andrew since it was working.

I was telling Andrew about my experiences with Mollie and my spirit guides and how much work they were doing on my lungs and it felt like they had doubled in size.  Also, Beth was working on improving my posture by working on my peck muscles.  He pressed on my upper pecks and it was very sore right on the lung entrance acupuncture point, which was also right where the plug of sorrow was in my spirit guide session.  He put needles there and my shoulders opened up immensely.

Every week he works on my chi building points, and has also done kidney, lungs, spleen, and gall bladder work.

10.5.10

I had the inspiration to study Chinese medicine after my meditation.  It came so clear, like a voice from somewhere outside of me.  When I saw Andrew later that day, I told him about this new progression, but said I was a little worried about having to stay in one place to develop a practice.  Over the next couple days my slight fear melted away and it felt more right than any other decision in my life.  I found out 2 weeks later that he had treated my gall bladder points, which enable people to make decisions.  I was out of harmony, which was apparent since I couldn’t decide on anything in my life.

10.18.10

I switched to a blood tonic and was nauseous for 2 days, then only for 30 minutes after drinking it on the third day.  It took a week to build up to 2 scoops twice a day but the new formula threw off my sleep until he adjusted it the next week.

10.22.10

I went to Brenyn Williams for a treatment.  He said my left side was still weak as well as my heart and lungs.  He did my lung points on the wrists and some point that helps with “letting go” and I finally took my first complete bowel movement in months when I got home.

10.25.10

I saw Andrew and was telling him how fried I was from traveling to Indiana for the wedding (had to be taken in a wheel chair from the plane to the car) and from the wedding the next weekend.  I hadn’t exercised at all and seemed to be most exhausted from talking.  It was also noticeable at work when I was training, which always made me exhausted.  He said it was because my lungs were weak.  He treated the wrist lung points and told me to add these points into my moxa daily practice.  I also started taking Cordyceps twice a day, which is a mushroom from the Himalayas that is for building immune systems and lung chi. I felt amazing after these new shifts.

Apparently the left side of the body is the yang side, which is interesting that it’s weaker in my chi, body and internal organs and pulses. I wonder if it’s because my accident, or if I was so out of balance by being too yang (drinking, overworking, sex, activity, loud, boisterous, etc), and that’s why I crashed into yin (slow, cold, exhausted, introspective, quiet, weak, dark, etc). When I bring my yang side back into balance, I hope to have more equanimity and not do the wild pendulum swings again.

11.1.10

In trying to understand my condition through Chinese Medicine, I have a cold/ damp/ interior condition.  This is a Yin condition, which means we are building my Yang.  In “The Web That Has No Weaver”, it states “Cold’s pain is sharp, cramping, and relieved by warm compresses, while Dampness’s distress is more bloating, heavy, pressured.  Cold may have more trouble connecting in relationships, but Dampness can be clinging or over nurturing” (p.152). It’s clear I’ve had a Cold condition for many years.  I got the Damp condition more recently, but it’s still very slight compared to the Coldness.

Internal Cold means insufficient Yang and relates to the Kidneys and shows in frequent urination and edema (swelling: Fire unable to control Water).  Both of these symptoms have greatly improved in the last month, but the bloating is still there when I introduce a new food or feel really low energy.  Fear is the emotion of the Kidneys and if the Cold affects one’s Will, it will appear as deeply passive, having another’s will dominate and feeling excessively guilty.  This was very apparent with my ex-fiance and the guilt shows now with my parents and having to accept money from them for health care. Also important to note is that “sexual dysfunction can be a sign of Kidney disharmony as well as lead to Kidney disharmony” (p.163)

If the Cold came on as a sudden Pernicious Influence, it will come with chills, fever, headache and body aches.  This was the case when we got mono out east on Halloween 2008. Cold and Dampness also affect the Spleen, whose emotion is worry.  Too much of this emotion can cause Dampness or Qi stagnation and manifest in the body as poor digestion and stomach distention, which I obviously had plenty of.

Another important emotion in my case is grief or sadness, which is associated with the Lungs.  Even before Luke passed on, I had exercise-induced asthma, and a deeply sad depression.  Once he passed, these attacks became more anxiety/panic attacks, like hyperventilating.  The Nei Jing states that “excess sadness and greif weakens the Qi”.

Deficient Blood manifests as tension, restlessness, tightness, jumpiness, absence of responsiveness and receptivity.  Besides the jumpiness, I had all these symptoms.  It can be caused by insufficient Spleen Qi and has signs of dizziness/ instability (I often tip over while doing yoga recently), thin emaciated body (I went from 120 to just over 100 lbs), spots or impaired vision (my vision becomes cloudy and narrow when I was fully crashed), poor memory (I still can’t remember simple words regularly), weak tremors, tightness or cramps (my body ached all of August and is now tight), numbness in limbs (I often awoke with numb hands), dry skin or hair (my skin was so dry, no amount of lotion helped), scanty menses (I went 3 and a half months without a period), pale and lusterless face, lips and tongue (everyone at work said I was pale and green), and thin pulse (definitely the case).

Blood deficiency can manifest insomnia, headaches, constipation, or dry then wet stool, which I’ve had since I got sick in early August. 

Deficient Qi shows as “weakness or lethargy; pale bright face; shallow respiration; low, soft voice; little desire to speak; dislike of movement; spontaneous sweating; easily lose focus; a passive introverted manner; pale tongue material; and empty, frail or otherwise weak pulse” (p.240).  Besides the spontaneous sweating, I had or still have all these symptoms.

Deficient Yang includes Deficient Qi and diminished Fire or the “appearance of Cold”.  This affects the body at a deeper level.  Symptoms are slow movement, aversion to cold, slow pulse, puffy tongue, and cold limbs.

Stagnant Qi is a pattern of excess that happens when Qi is stuck in a particular organ.  This may result from “emotional or dietary imbalances, External Pernicious Influences, or trauma” (p.241).  Often manifests as distention and soreness, of which I had and have both. Psychologically becomes frustration, tension, and moodiness.

Deficient Spleen Qi has signs such as “chronic fatigue, lack of motivation and desire, appetite disorder, poor digestion, watery stool, abdominal distention, pale tongue material with thin, white moss, and empty pulse” (p.245).  Besides the watery stool, which I had prior to August, all these describe my condition. 

11.4.10

I saw Andrew today.  He did some regular points to build Qi, then added a pericardium point on my sternum.  It was sharp, then heavy pressure and he asked if I was feeling any emotions.  I said sadness, then started to cry. He asked why I always had to be so strong for everyone.  I told him I didn’t like asking for help and felt guilty having my parents pay for some of my health care.  After I finished crying, I felt much more open in my heart.  Although I had some anger arise.  Andrew said it meant that my body was coming back online. 

11.5.10

I had a great session with Brenyn today.  We worked more on my pericardium, spleen, heart and lungs.  I was about to ask him about taking Qi Gong classes and he said I should practice the breathing technique called the Microcosmic Orbit, which I learned somewhere before.  Today there was no more crying, but I felt very calm and relaxed afterwards.  I even had enough energy to go walk through the Front Range Community College campus and go shopping for over an hour before having an energy crash.   

11.6.10

When my mom heard about the shamanic session, she knew exactly which neighbor was the molestation culprit.  Apparently, there were neighbors that had two daughters and one later confided in my mother that her stepfather had oral sex with her every night from very young until she was 12.  She had blocked it out and learned of it when she was under hypnosis.

I introduced Triphala (an Indian fruit blend for tonifying and cleansing intestines) and agave sweetener.  I started my period, which is the first one I’ve had in over 3 months.  I ate three meals with no bloating and had two friends over to visit. There was a deep sense of peace and clarity all afternoon.  I felt no grasping or pushing away. 

At 5 I went on a bike ride, all down hill, from campus to 55th and Pearl.  By the time dad picked me up I could hardly hold my body or head up.  I slumped silently in the front seat and had jello legs when I got home. I needed help getting up the stairs and collapsed onto the couch.  I revived enough after moxa to be able to talk and eat dinner. 

11.8.10

Some interesting discoveries:

When my wrist lung points are weak, chanting and singing are too.  When my lung Qi is strong, so is my voice.  Since the pericardium session on the 4th, I’ve had new emotions surface, like sadness, anger, frustration and jealousy.  It’s like I’m picking them up off the shelf and looking at them.  They wash over me and then dissolve back into nothingness, like ocean waves.  I wonder if my constant tendency to turn off streetlights when I walk under them is my body’s way of trying to get more Qi from the universe.  If Qi Gong practitioners can turn on lights by touching them, it would make sense that my lack of Qi would draw the electricity out of lamps and electronics, which it has been doing for years.  This morning during meditation, I practiced the microcosmic orbit of Qi flow.  The first two cycles, the energy got stuck in my third eye and felt like strong pressure.  I finally got it to lower.  Once finished, I opened my palms and head chakra and with each inhale brought in universal Qi.  I felt it flowing in and around my body like warm vibrations.


11.9.10
After accidentally ignoring a flurry of angel thoughts yesterday, I had a total system melt down.  I didn't listen to the thought that I shouldn't go to the mac store, take food and jacket with me or skip my nutrition appointment with Neely since I felt so bad.  The consequence was 12 hours prone, needing assistance to walk and being unable to really talk.  There were moments of frustration, but mostly acceptance.  
This morning, I still felt very low energy and had difficulty getting around the house.  During my meditation I slumped against the bed and started crying.  Barely able to get up and walk to the couch, I called one of my health practitioners.  I had waves of fear and loneliness threaten to engulf me, but I stayed present with them.  Letting them rise and fall away.  We bounced ideas around and I realized that my biggest fear is being trapped.  Not dead, but trapped in my body and unable to move.  This was the only way the universe could get my attention so that I would let parts of me die.  I remembered that I told Gandalf on Saturday that I was ready for my funeral (ie: to release all my karmic delusions).  Being trapped in my immobile body brought all my hang ups flying to the forefront of my existence.  I accepted my oneness, the dream of this life and all my other lives, my immanent death,and the reality that I'm not in control.  I'm just a creative manifestation of the Divine Oneness.  I've been asking for direction and advice… but have been a bad listener.  I'm trying though!


11.6 - 11.14


Every day during this period at some point I needed help walking and had difficulty talking.  My speech was slurred and slow, like I was about to run out of juice in my batteries.  When I was low energy, standing up from the couch was so hard, as though I had no muscle in my legs.  Even getting my body to sit up was sometimes impossible.  Moxa usually helped revive me.


11.17.10

I noticed that when I didn't talk all morning I had WAY more energy, so I was silent until my acupuncture appointment with Andrew at 3.  He and Chip think I have a "Yang collapse".  I'm not sure what that means yet, but it sounds like I don't have an extreme case.  Instead of having Deficient Lung, Spleen and Kidney Qi, Deficient Qi in general, Deficient Blood and a bit of dampness to my spleen, my whole yang collapsed, which affects all systems.  It manifests in low energy, always cold, trouble digesting food, walking, talking, etc.  I started a Yang building formula today (a tea that I cooked for 45 minutes), which made me slightly nauseous and low energy until I did moxa (smokeless mugwort).  It tasted super strong and not very good.  Andrew gave me some thread moxa (Japanese style) to start using.  I will do 5 rice grain sized pieces on each of my 5 points (2 shin, 1 below belly button and lung points on the inside of each wrist) twice a day.  I also got tested for anemia and hypothyroidism at the People's Clinic yesterday.


11.19.10


My test results showed that I'm not anemic, and have a normal functioning thyroid and liver and my electrolyte levels are normal.  I crashed again yesterday afternoon and needed help walking.  The new tonic was Yang building, so very warming, which was nice.  It didn't seem to build enough Qi to keep me functioning though.  This morning I was barely able to get out of bed and had to do moxa while I ate to stay upright.  After a 30 minute meditation I crawled onto bed and collapsed, unable to move or speak.  Luckily my dad came in a few minutes later and Brenyn arrived for an acupuncture / massage house call.  I needed help getting to the table and I collapsed in tears.  I began sweating profusely until we got my robe off.  When I stopped crying, I was damp and cooler.  Brenyn did Qi building points and PTSD protocol ear points.  I was revived after the treatment and could walk and talk by myself. He suggested adding Rosemary to my meals, which builds Yang and to try Damiana as well.  He's the one who suggested Trifala, which has made my bowels regular again.


My new formula tastes amazing! It warmed me and gave me some energy.  I hope this is the one I can stick with for awhile.  The cooking is very natural and soothing, instead of the granulars, which could be anything.  


Ingredients: Fu Zi- 4.5g, Gan Jiang- 6g, Dang Shen- 9g, Bai Zhu- 6g, Zhi Gan Cao- 6g.


Thread moxa is fun too, although it's so labor intensive I have to have enough energy.  It's good for my ambidextrous nature and coordination.  It definitely takes timing to not burn the skin with the small rice-grain-sized pieces that I light on fire. 


I'm glad that I let go of my resistance to western medicine enough to get some tests run, but I could never work in that environment.  Learning about Traditional Chinese Medicine through my condition is so fascinating. TCM completely resonates and I can hardly wait until September to start the program.  I'm so fortunate that Andrew wants an apprentice so I can begin my learning as soon as I'm a little better.


11.22.10

Finally started to feel better today and haven't needed help walking at all! It seems to take 3-4 days for a new formula to take full affect.  Andrew added more of the Qi builders in my Yang formula today. We're giving it 24 more hours before we decide to stick with this one or go back to the original granular Qi tonic.  I like cooking the "twigs and berries" style tonic, but want whatever will get me back on my feet quickest.  I was able to go to a coffee shop, walk around the corner to go shoe shopping and drive myself home.  This is a vast improvement over the massive crashes I've had for the last 4 days, needing help moving, walking, eating and being unable to talk at times. I've noticed that the crashes come on quicker and I revive equally fast in the last week.


11.24.10


Today I went to Chip's office and Andrew met me there. It was interesting talking with them both and watching them put their heads together to come up with the right formula for me. While I was trying to understand what happened to make me feel so great on the 22nd and be awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night, I made a list. On the 19th, I started the new Yang/Qi tonic. On the 21st I quit my fish oil because I found it had soy in it (and took it for 25 days). On the 22nd I quit taking Trifala because Andrew thought it was too eliminatory right now. I started wearing a crystal around my neck on the 22nd and was able to talk freely and energetically. Also that day, I re-boiled 2 herb bags because I was out of fresh ones. I drank the whole thing in one day, making me think that's why I was up half the night.


11.29.10


Brenyn came over today and I noticed that he did most of the same points that Andrew does: Spleen 3, top of the foot, Stomach 36, Lung wrist, back of hand, top of forearm by elbow. He asked if I was being treated for my heart and said that as a fire sign and emotive woman, this is the organ I lead with. I know he's right. We also discovered that when I eat between 5 & 7pm, I'm always bloated. This is when Qi is in the Kidney channel, which is one of my weakest. I'm going to try eating before 5, then having a snack just after 9 (because it's in Pericardium from 7-9, which is where I was hiding my grief). We'll see how that goes. What a fascinating medicine!


12.3.10


I had an appointment with Susannah Grace Carleton and it was great timing since I was super depressed and crying the night before. I woke up dragging ass and had to do threads and smokeless before I could get myself there. I cried a lot at our appointment and she did the points on the bottom of my feet and one on the crown of my head. Afterwards I felt much less depressed but was still low energy and spent 10 hours on the couch from lunchtime on. 


12.4.10


My formula changed to : Fu Zi- 4.5g, Gan Jiang- 6g, Ginseng- 6g, Bai Zhu- 6g, Zhi Gan Cao- 6g. The ginseng substitute for the Dang Shen seems to really be helping my energy level.


12.6.10


I started apprenticing with Andrew today and talked for 4 hours! I'm super psyched to learn from he and Eric. He threw in some liver points and 2 new ones to help with my sore throat from all the talking. I have had much more energy since my cycle actually started and it's my first real one since July.  I even lifted weights yesterday and cooked for 3 hours. It felt great!


12.8.10


After all the talking Monday I was very low energy Tuesday and today. I didn't crash so bad that I couldn't walk, but was close yesterday afternoon. I laid on the couch for an hour waiting for my mom to come home and get my food and moxa. I guess I overdid it Monday, but it felt so good to talk and feel like a normal, energetic person again! Andrew worked on me at noon and I was recovering energy all afternoon.


12.10.10


I had a great session with Brenyn today. He did Spleen 3 and 6, stomach 36 and 3 points on my wrist, lung, heart and pericardium. We both think my lungs and heart need more attention. This was affirmed by my crash in Pier 1 yesterday, where I went from feeling amazing to walking slow, slurred speech and a very sore throat within 5 minutes in the store. I'm sure it's the smells and my body's incapability to protect itself against them. I feel defenseless against people's energy, loud noise and concentrated smells. Brenyn says it's my Lung Qi not governing my Protective Qi. He brought me a couple pieces of old Ginseng from the himalayas and a few schizandra berries, which are supposed to help the liver, lungs, adrenals and are a great adaptogen. I only had one because I first want to see if the new formula cooking approach helps. I cooked the ginseng for 45 minutes separately, then added the rest and cooked for another 45 minutes. The ginseng flavor is definitely stronger than it was before, so I'll be curious to see how my energy feels. 


12.13.10


Two days ago I felt great and lifted weights, then did the bicycle for 10 minutes. When I got home I vacuumed my car, filled the air in the tires and met a couple to show it to them. I started bonking so came home for moxa and laid on the couch for a few hours. Then I went to see the movie Burlesque. It was loud and flashy and when I got home I had a migraine and crashed completely after eating chicken at 7:30. I couldn't walk the rest of the night and needed help walking to the kitchen table yesterday when I woke up. I was barely functioning all day and needed help walking most of it and cried a lot. I got myself around today and drove to Andrew's this morning. We had a good session and I didn't talk as much as usual because I was sad and he was seeing another patient downstairs. He did tan tine, kidney, stomach, and spleen points on my front, and one in my throat to help it open up. Then kidney inner and outer on my lower back and new heart points on my upper back that were very sharp at first. I felt better and got to put together 3 formula bags for myself, with Wu Wei Zi (schizandra berries) added. My new formula is:

Fu Zi -6g,  Gan Jiang -6g, Bai Zhu -6g, Zhi Gan Cao -6g, Ren Shen (ginseng) -6g, Wu Wei Zi -3g




  

No comments:

Post a Comment